I could use some advice.  Here's my story...

When I met my husband, he seemed to be a dog lover.  He had dogs all his life growing up - mostly Labs, Lab mixes and a Chow mix.  He also had a few cats.  He didn't have a dog at that time because of college dorm life.

I had always talked about getting a dog and my husband seemed fine with that.  We waited because we lived in a small apartment that only had a small patio.  Later, we waited because new careers take up a lot of time and cause stress.  There always seemed to be some logical reason to wait, so I did.

Ten years later, living in a 3-bedroom house with a large shady yard, I finally asked to get a dog and argued that the time would never be more "right".  My husband agreed, although not with the enthusiam I had hoped.  He said it would be "my dog".  I thought that would be fine, after all I don't mind dog chores and I love training.

I rescued a Rotterman (Rott-Doberman) from starvation on a farm and nursed him back to health.  I loved him.  My husband thought he was rowdy, smelly and very ugly.  I trained him in basic obedience and he was nearly housebroken from the start.  After many complaints from my husband and much unhappiness, I spent weeks finding a good home for my puppy.  Then I took three days off of work so that my coworkers wouldn't see me crying off an on.

My husband considered this entire event terribly traumatic... to both of us.  He felt guilty.  I was hurt and despaired ever owning another dog.  After two weeks, I decided to try again, this time with more input from my husband.

I put together a page-long breed profile for all the breeds I was considering.  There were 12 breeds on the list.  I asked my husband to choose the one he liked best.  He picked the German Shepherd Dog.  I put together a list of rescues and breeders and asked him which route he wanted to go.  He opted to buy from a breeder.  I let him pick the gender.  He decided on female, though my own preference is usually for a male.  After a lot of interviewing, I put together a list of breeders.  When a puppy was available at a reputable breeder, we went to see it.  I stood back and asked him to make the final decision about whether that puppy was the right one or not.  He said she was fine and we bought her.

Now she's seven months old.  My husband doesn't like her.  She jumps up and clonks around like any puppy.  She also submissively urinates around him if she gets really excited.  I'm sure she'll grow out of both of these, and we've taken steps to make sure it rarely happens.  (Even then, usually under the carport on concrete.)  She passed basic obedience with flying colors.  She's smart and loyal.  It doesn't seem to matter.  When she barks outside even a little, he's annoyed.  He says she smells and stinks up the house.  He doesn't like the time I spend with her, perhaps because I could be spending it with him - a little over an hour a day, including dog chores.  My husband hates that we can't leave whatever we like on the coffee table, or her tail might knock it off... and a lot of other little things.

I'm a dog lover.  He always talked like a dog lover, until it came right down to actually owning a dog.  I have to admit, I feel a deep need of a canine companion, probably more than I ought to.  Dogs are unconditional friends and I had few of those growing up.  I waited over a decade, but now I can't enjoy raising my dog without guilt and worry.  I love my husband very much, but for some reason, I can't force myself to not want (need) a dog.  Believe me, I've tried.

So, after all of this rambling, my question is - what can I do?  What should I do?

Thank you in advance for your advice.

If I were you-----> I WOULD GET 2 DOGS!!!! POSSIBLY 3!!!!

First off I'd be damned if I got rid of any of my babies for my husband.  The man would be gone first.  (sorry just my opinion)   

Secondly get another dog or 3 and make him deal with it...You animals will see you thru alot more than any human will!!

Rottie

YAH----GET RID OF THE HUBBY

To me sounds like you need a dog because you might not have the best relationship with your husband, Just my opinion. I agree with every body else here. Maybe having a dog would better for you.I wouldn't give up my dogs ever either.

Any man that couldn't want a dog around is NOT the man for me. The mere fact he cant even tolerate a puppy is enough to say bye ~*to him not the dog* Hope your not planing to have children. Talk about having to keep things out of reach, and dirty smelly beings !!! Dont get me wrong, I love kids but I doubt he will.

There is nothing wrong with not being a dog lover. There are people who are dog people, and there are people who are NOT dog people. Everybody's different. The problem is when a dog person and a NOT a dog person live together. It's similar to when one half of a couple wants kids and the other half doesn't want kids. When it comes to both children and dogs, two yesses is a yes, and one no is a no. That is b/c it is unfair to both children and dogs for one "parent" to resent/dislike them.

If your husband doesn't like or want a dog, then for the good of the dog you should not get one (or two or three). Same as if your husband didn't want children, you should not have one (or two or three) because the child will always know s/he is not wanted by one parent, and so will the dog.

The question you have to ask yourself is how important having a dog is to you. Is it more important than having your husband? The answer is not the same for all people. You are the only one who knows the answer for yourself.

GL

Thank you, everyone, for your answers and advice.

To answer some of your questions - we don't have any children, nor do we intend to have any.  We've both agreed on this from the start.  I set time aside to do fun and romantic things with my husband, we spend a lot of time together on Saturdays as well, so the puppy isn't getting affection that he isn't.  I've been with him for oh... twelve years now?  (We didn't marry right away because of research grants and the complexity of re-applying for them.)  We've made it through a lot of hard times together.  We have most things in common and like the same things - hobbies, music, movies, books, political and religious opinions, even our tastes in furniture.  Our only real point of contention is the dog.

After fully expecting to get one some day and thinking it would be alright all this time, building up the dreams and expectations, it's really hard to just give up.  Maybe when she gets out of her puppy phase, she can at least be a neutral factor instead of a negative one.  Maybe that's just wishful thinking.

One point of added complexity is that, when asked, he doesn't really want me to give up the dog.  He wants me to have the thing I love and doesn't want to go through the guilt and pain of giving one up again.  Unfortunately, it's hard to enjoy my GSD when I know it's going to put him in a mood, and send him off into hiding in another room until she's in the yard again.

Don't let a man give you the song and dance story "i love you and want  you to be happy and have the things you love, BUT, the dogs disturbences are just to much".  My EX-husband and I had 4 children and being my sanity growing up, I thought every child had a right to have a dog and it's unconditional love, but the husband did't agree,. I felt very strongly about  this and was given a small mixed collie by a neighboring friend and readily accepted-after all we lived on a 100 acre farm - he thought all animals were THINGS unless they held value to HIM.  Our sweet Molly lived 11 years, and suspiciously died when the children and I were at the beach.  I can't tell you how often the children asked if DAD had anything to do with Molly's death.they knew how much he disliked her.  I'm sure that's not the case.  It makes me very sad to think about it even now.  He never ONCE left her inside our house for the children to experience, not even the basement.It took me 7 years to decide this was not the man for me, but stayed another 11 years because of the children-how often do we hear that-but it's true.  It seems as if you really love this man-does he give up things that are extremely important to him, even though you very much dislike whatever that might be?  I agree with so many of the first responses you received, even though they might not be very nice, but being as old as I am now {not really THAT old} my most important concern is that YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS.

Good luck with this!      Maybe you could even let us know how things turned out?!?!  Could help someone else!

I'm sorry, but your husband sounds extremely selfish.  I would absolutely be worried about him being around the dog when you're not at home.  I feel horrible for the rottie mix you put so much love and time into and then had to find him a new home.  I hope the dog is in an extremely loving home, considering his life before you rescued him.  In all honesty, I personally would not want to be with a non-dog lover.  He is not going to change, obviously.  His excuses, though valid sounding at the time, were simply excuses.  He can't admit that he doesn't want a dog in his life or home.  But to deny you the pleasure is downright selfish.  The dog won't grow out of the submission urinating because she is probably afraid of your husband and if he doesn't change, then she won't get over it.  If anything, she'll cower more and more when he steps into the room.  If it were me, I would take my dog and file for divorce.  The dog has a bigger heart and more love and respect for you and your feelings than this guy does.

I would not suggest getting another dog if he doesn't like the one you have.  It will only cause problems for you and the dogs.  You have to decide what is more important to you the dog or the husband.  In my opinion I would get rid of the husband since it doesn't seem like your relationship is that good.  But please keep in mind that if the relationship should end will you be able to keep the dog anyway?  Many divorced woman find it difficult to keep an pet during a divorce.  I know I am going thru that now.  And I have seven dogs to take with me.  Something to think about.

There is a gift if this situation for both you and your husband.  The trick, of course, is to sit through the "ickies" long enough to discover it.

Hubby's words certainly don't match his actions do they?  He doesn't have to love your dog, although it sure helps. But he certainly doesn't have to rub your nose in it after he actively participated in chosing this one. 

Would you consider getting professional help in navigating this issue?  Would he?  I'm thinkin none of us here are professionals, we're just crazy people crazy about our pets.  Some of us have lost relationships, and in doing so found what really has value in our lives. 

Getting another dog at this point isn't the best choice, but I hear the sentiment behind that suggestion. 

You have some work to do, as does he, to find the middle ground on this.  Bottom line is he willing to do the work????  If not, your relationship may not be as strong as you think.  I hope that's not the case, but if it is keep the dog, and cut your losses.  No one deserves to be treated like that in the name of love.

Nancy

I agree with Sandie that the fact that your husband picked the dog out and still has a problem with it says a lot. You got the breed he wanted, the gender he wanted from the source he wanted, and he is still being highly critical.

I don't know if your husband was this nitpicky about the state of the house and the use of your time BEFORE you got a dog. But he sounds very high-maintenance, whiny and controlling about the issues with the dog. I mean, who cares if you have to put non-breakables on the coffee table. THAT IS SUCH A SMALL THING.

At this point you have paid a lot of money for a dog that could have gone to a home that really wanted him. Once German Sheperds are grown, they are very hard to find homes for. When I've visited shelters, I've been amazed at how most of the dogs are either German Sheperds or Pit Bulls. So many of these poor dogs are thrown away when people get tired of them. And many never find a home. So they live their life alone in a cage or are put to death. How tragic is that?

Getting a puppy is a huge responsibility. Puppies have a lot of energy. They also need patience and time to be trained. Big dogs, especially a breed known for incessant barking like a German Sheperd, need people who really love the special needs and behaviors of the breed and size.

I think you need to start asking yourself some really core questions.

Is your husband always this difficult? How can he be so selfish when you've gone out of your way to make him happy?

How much does he go out of his way for you?

Can you live happily without a dog?

Can you find this dog a good home?

Can you forgive your husband for letting his selfish need to have every detail his way make you lose a part of your life and yourself that you deeply love?

If you kept the dog, could you live with his incessant complaining?

Is this a man who could really be there for you during a difficult time?

If you kept the dog, and something happened to you, what would happen to the dog?

I volunteer at a cat rescue. We recently received an 8 year old cat who had a very devoted and loving owner. She sat by him as he suffered from cancer. As soon as he died, his wife gave him to a shelter! Now this loyal house cat lives in a cage. She is so depressed and traumatized. Do you know how hard it is to adopt out an 8 year old cat, especially when almost all the other cats are kittens of 1-2 years old? That man probably never dreamed his wife's resentment and jealousy of the cat would drive her to abandon the poor cat as soon as he died. And now this beloved, loyal pet lives in it's own hell.

I wouldn't want something like that to happen to your dog. So please give a lot of thought to what you want to do with the dog and your relationship from here. Selfish people never get less selfish.