Berner4me
Champion
Posts:14
 | | 10/08/2007 12:42 PM |
| | ]My new boyfirnd and I are going to move in together. One Catch.. my three year old berner. Hes big. Hes furry. He drools, and my boyfriend doesnt take to him very well. I love them both but since a few months ago Ace ( my berner) has moved in with my parents in Michigan. 10 hours away from me. I miss him so much it hurts. I dont know what to do. Its not my boyfriends job to look after him, walk, feed, or give him attention. Its not his dog. However some of the Ace's needs did fall on him. Should I leave Ace with my parents? Where he will be well looked over with a family who loves him? Or shouldI bring him back home with me and tell the BF to deal with it? Any ones advice I would appreciate.
Thank you
Ty. - Baltimore MD | | | |
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Buffy610
Champion
Posts:3
| | 10/08/2007 12:58 PM |
| | Personally I would take the dog over the BF they are generally much more loyal. But if your baby will end up in a situation where there's stress in the house than he is better off with your parents.
It sounds as if your boyfriend needs to learn acceptance. He doesn't have to love the dog but if he loves you and you love the dog then perhaps he can make a concession.
I see too many older animals abandoned at shelters because their owners have chosen a significant other who doesn't like the pet. I wouldn't trust anyone that doesn't like my dog or vice versa
Good Luck! | | | |
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UBS_Mom
Best in Show
Posts:1970
| | 10/08/2007 1:03 PM |
| | OK, I see people have read your post, but so far, no replies...so here's mine, and mind you, you DID ask...I mean no offense, but well, it is what it is...
your "new" boyfriend...vs. your dog/pet/faithful friend of 3 years....hmm, for me, no comparison....and if asked by my man to give up him or my dogs, the answer would be oh so clear...
you are quick to point out his "faults" (big, hairy,drooly) ...if YOU thought that way I wonder why you have him at all? Where are his attributes??
And why should it be your parents responsibility for your dog?
...And as far as REAL relationships go, everything falls on both people...it's that whole "partnership thing...
ok, obviously, I could go on forever about this, but like I said it's not my intention to offend.. | | | |
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UBS_Mom
Best in Show
Posts:1970
| | 10/08/2007 1:04 PM |
| oops, apparently Buffy beat me to it...but I stand by my words  | | | |
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Berner4me
Champion
Posts:14
| | 10/08/2007 1:11 PM |
| | Thank you for your advice. But, its not that my BF doesnt like the dog. Its the responcibility that comes with him.
In my past relation ship, my ex andI bought Ace. We had a house and huge yard and make shift family that Ace bonded too vey quickly. Upon that relation ship ending, Ace andI were forced to leave our home and move into an apartment. ( small ) As soon as this happened, ace began to panic. Heavy panting all the time, accidents in the house, ( Never happened before) even becoming ill. With in three months time after the First apartment we moved into another smaller apartment. Worse symptoms began to develop. Barking, seperation anxiety, becoming nervous around my new BF. No matter how many walks we took, park visits, or vet trips, It was if three years of traning and comands went right out the window. In a sence he went nuts. Bonkers. It got so bad that the man below complained. And Ace had to leave. Since he has been with my parents, they say he is a gem. Perfectly behaved. A perfect puppy. I have no Idea what happened to my dog. This has been a very sad long year. | | | |
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horseygirltoo
Champion
Posts:53
| | 10/08/2007 1:13 PM |
| Love me, love my animals... enough said. | | | |
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UBS_Mom
Best in Show
Posts:1970
| | 10/08/2007 1:20 PM |
| amen sista!  | | | |
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horseygirltoo
Champion
Posts:53
| | 10/08/2007 1:29 PM |
| | I'm sorry Berner, that is a truly sad tale. I realize how our lives can change dramatically in a short period of time. If Ace is happy with your parents, and they have no qualms about keeping him, then by all means leave him there. It sounds as if he is happy, and that is what is most important. I know it breaks your heart to not have him with you, but sometimes we must sacrifice our own happiness in consideration of our furry friends. Best of luck to you...... | | | |
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quicksand32
Champion
Posts:51
| | 10/08/2007 2:11 PM |
| Berner
that is so hard  but you have to do what is right for him and it sounds like the aprtment situation was not working. maybe you could look into finding a way to live closer so you can spend more time with him.
quick | | | |
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PedigreeChallenged
Best in Group
Posts:1001
| | 10/08/2007 6:37 PM |
| | I'm curious. Did you try any additional, new training with a dog behaviorist or dog trainer? Seperation anxiety takes work, but it can be overcome. And size of the residence may not matter, as long as the dog is really getting enough exercise. Walks are one thing, but high activity dogs need more than just walks.
Me personally, I would never give up my dogs. I worked through seperation anxiety with one dog, and high energy issues with another, and I lived in a condo.
I'm happy at least that you didn't bring him to a shelter. | | | |
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DonnaCast
Best of Breed
Posts:286
| | 10/08/2007 7:27 PM |
| | When our lives change for better or worse, sadly animals and children have to adjust. Leave your pooch with your parents where it seems he is happy and living in a stable environment. I notice from your age that you are young. Take it from those of us who are older and more experienced. NEVER pick a guy over your dog. | | | |
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DPFrank
Best of Breed
Posts:386
| | 10/08/2007 7:56 PM |
| | Ditto to the men! | | | |
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Newfs
Posts:0
| | 10/08/2007 8:52 PM |
| | I would never have to pick a man, or my dogs... my dogs are a part of who I am.... love me, love my dogs....any man that made feel feel I had to chose, and he thought for one minute I would pick him, hahahaaaaa. NOT | | | |
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kendall
Champion
Posts:59
| | 10/08/2007 8:56 PM |
| | 100% with Newfs! | | | |
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beaglesmom
Champion
Posts:124
| | 10/08/2007 9:01 PM |
| | Sorry - but "we" are a package deal - love me love my beagles! I never trust anyone who doesn't like animals. | | | |
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PitterPatt
Best of Breed
Posts:332
| | 10/08/2007 10:30 PM |
| | Ditto to all "love me love my dog-cat ...." posts. Any fur baby takes care and in a relationship that is a given, perhaps one half of the relationship does more but in a true loving partnership both should be ready and willing to do what is needed.
You did ask so...You might rethink the BF because if he has a problem with Ace knowing how you feel what else will he find when/if you give up your loyal companion. Beware when BF/GF start out trying to change you.
That said, if Ace is happy with your parents in a stable environment I think he should stay there. | | | |
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skyblue
Best of Breed
Posts:446
| | 10/08/2007 10:39 PM |
| | Berner, somewhere down the road you will probably want another dog. (Ace, of course, will be happier and safer in his new "forever" home with your parents.) This new boyfriend sounds like someone for the short term...to have fun with and experience life with for now. He might not be the one you would choose for a long term relationship, but, who knows... you may come to some agreements about animals...
Just be careful with the furry ones, please...it is easy to break their hearts if you decide to abandon them... | | | |
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dakota04
Best of Breed
Posts:302
| | 10/09/2007 4:29 AM |
| | MY DOGS LIVE HERE
My dogs live here, they’re here to stay.
You don’t like pets, be on your way.
They share my home, my food, my space
This is their home, this is their space.
You will find dog hair on the floor,
They will alert you’re at the door.
They may request a little pat,
A simple “no” will settle that.
It gripes me when I hear you say
“just how is it you live this way?
They smell, they shed, they’re in the way….”
WHO ASKED YOU? Is all I can say….
They love me more than anyone,
My voice is like the rising sun,
They merely have to hear me say
“C’mon girls, time to go and play.”
Then tails wag and faces grin,
They bounce and hop and make a din.
They never say “no time for you”,
they’re always there, to GO and DO.
And if I’m sad? They’re by my side
And if I’m mad? They circle wide
And if I laugh, they laugh with me
They understand, they always see.
So once again, I say to you
Come visit me, but know this too….
My dogs live here, they’re here to stay.
You don’t like pets, be on your way.
They share my home, my food, my space
This is their home, this is their place….
Author Unknown | | | |
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studmuffinmomma
Best in Group
Posts:521
| | 10/09/2007 5:51 AM |
| | Aww....Dakota, I really like that! Berner.....Was married to second husband seven years. When we first were married I had a retired racing greyhound and a little poodle mix and a cat....I now have 4 cats and five dogs and he has been long gone for four years now. Ace sounds happy with your folks; he's still in the family so you will get to see him....enjoy the b/f but love your furbabies...they will always love you no matter what!!!Soos and the TN Zoo | | | |
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nikimom36
Champion
Posts:29
| | 10/09/2007 6:09 AM |
| | I agree Berner. If I was in a relationship with someone who didn't like my dog or cat they would be out the dorr in a second. I am currently seeing someone now who is not too fond of my dog and is always telling me I should get rid of her. well maybe he is the one I should get rid of. We are just friends now anyway, but I would never ever get rid of my dog for a man. he also tried to feed me the line well who is more imoportant me or the dog. No question there...the dog is.I hope you are not offended by my response but this is how I feel and when I hear stories of people giving up their pets because theirbf/gf doesn't like them it just get me so angry. If ace is happy with you parents and he is weel loved then let him stay. It is beeter for him then being around someone who will probably ignore him and not take care of him. well enough said here. | | | |
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