drambuie
Best in Group
Posts:1224
 | | 07/03/2005 10:08 PM |
| FANTASTIC  | | | |
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labdp
Best of Breed
Posts:387
| | 07/03/2005 11:18 PM |
| | Good news. I'm a little over half way through the slave years! Whoohoo!!! | |
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beaglesmom
Champion
Posts:124
| | 07/11/2005 8:31 AM |
| | Ways the Miss America Pageant Would Be Different if the Judges Were Dogs:
10. Title revoked if old photographs surface of the winner petting a cat
9. Put your money on the girl wearing the sash made of baloney
8. New sniffing competition
7. Rambunctious Miss Ohio forced to wear one of those big plastic cones on head
6. Host Bob Barker torn to shreds by pack of angry neutered judges
5. Winning talent? Throwing a stick
4. Pageant thrown into total chaos by judge in heat
3. Miss Texas disqualified for stuffing her evening gown with Gaines Burgers
2. Winner gets to drink out of toilet
1. Points taken off for mange | | | |
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beaglesmom
Champion
Posts:124
| | 07/12/2005 2:25 PM |
| |
Doggie Bumper Stickers:
Honk If You Love Hot Dogs!
If You Can Read This, You're Hanging Too Far Out Of The Window!
Caution - I Brake For Dead Stuff On The Road!
My Beagle Can Beat Up Your Obedience School Honor Student.
Vet is a 4-Letter Word!
My Other Car Is The Bed Of A Pickup!
I'd Rather Be Digging A Hole In The Back Yard!
Hey Cat! New Law - Red Light Means Go Now, OKAY?
Caution - Driver Drools Out The Window! | | | |
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nkace
Champion
Posts:10
| | 07/13/2005 12:58 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Dani5676
In Rochester, Michigan you will find the home of Oakland University. Of course with any University there are a few fraternities, and a few sororities. And OU has a few Frat houses, but strangely enough no Sororities Houses. Why – you might ask? Well there is a law that if more than 5 women are living together it is considered a brothel. And a brothel is obviously illegal!
That is the same law that Penn State has. | | | |
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beaglesmom
Champion
Posts:124
| | 07/17/2005 11:42 AM |
| FROM A MAN'S POINT OF VIEW (This was posted on my beagle group - thought you might enjoy it too) !
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
1. Dogs don't care if you mow the lawn or not.
2. Dogs don't run up outrageous phone bills talking to friends and relatives for hours.
3. Dogs don't get upset if you don't want to watch a LIFETIME movie.
4. Dogs don't use all the hot water taking hour long showers.
5. Dogs don't have an expensive Avon habit to support.
6. Dogs don't get upset when you refer to them as a bitch, at least not the female ones.
7. Dogs don't care if you ball your socks up and leave them under the couch.
8. Dogs don't get upset if you forget their birthday.
9. Dogs don't care if your favorite lounging jeans have a hole in the knee.
10. Dogs don't care if you prefer pizza over pot roast if you give them a bite too.
11. Dogs don't expect you to remember the name of every one of their friends.
12. Dogs don't care if you leave the toilet seat up or down.
13. Dogs don't care how much sports you watch on TV as long as they can be near you.
14. Dogs don't care if you have bowling leagues 3 nights per week, well maybe a little, but they forgive you as soon as you get home.
15. Dogs aren't afraid of breaking a nail.
16. Dogs don't take hours to get ready to go to dinner.
17. Dogs don't care if you have razor stubble.
18. A dog license is cheaper than a marriage license.
19. You don't have to put up with your dog's relatives if you don't like them.
20. Dog toys are not as expensive as computers.
21. Dogs don't get PMS.
22. Dogs will wait for you out side a pub. And if you come out drunk....they love you anyway.
23. Dogs don't care how many other dogs you had before them.
24. Dogs dont require dinner and a movie before sleeping w/ u.
25. Dogs don't care to carry on a conversation with you.
26. Dogs don't want babies.
27. Dogs don't expect you to carry their purchases when you go shopping with them. Better: they do not make purchases.
28. Dogs don't need three days to pack before going on a week-end trip.
29. Dogs don't need you to explain to everybody the nature of your relationship with them.
30. Dogs don't want to be introduced to your parents.
31. Dogs don't try to insinuate how better their friends' owners are.
32. Dog don't care about etiquette and table manners.
33. Dogs don't need to have you 24 h at their bedside when they are sick.
34. Dogs are inexpensive to care for.NOTE: I might not completely agree with that one. Having 6 dogs, my vet bills are horrendous! And we won't even CONSIDER the toys, food, all the accessories, etc.
35. Dogs are not fussy about food.
36. Dogs are always happy to go out wherever and whenever you want to go.
37. Dogs only need to go to the bathroom a few times per day. They can relieve themselves on the side of the road while travelling.
38. Dogs like to live in a smelly place.
39. Dogs don't care how much you earn.
40. Dogs don't think that living with you gives them the right to use your shaver on their legs. | | | |
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softy
Champion
Posts:94
| | 07/18/2005 1:13 AM |
| | I DISAGREE WITH #18. A MARRIAGE LIC. YOU GET ONCE BUT A DOGS LIC. YOU GET EVERY YEAR. | | | |
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drambuie
Best in Group
Posts:1224
| | 07/20/2005 8:34 PM |
| | Did You Know
All three of Christopher Columbus's ships were originally
named for Barcelona prostitutes.
The worlds oldest parlisment,is Icelands Althing,founded in AD 930 by the Vikings.
The Union Ironclad Monitor was the first ship to have a flush toilet. | | | |
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drambuie
Best in Group
Posts:1224
| | 08/15/2005 8:35 PM |
| | From the travel section of Boston Sunday Globe 14 August 2005
Camp grounds for you and your puppy.
All kinds of stuff set up just for you and your dog.
Here are some web address for them.
www.campunleashed.com located in MA
www.campgonetothedogs.com Vermont
www.dogcamp.com Wisconsin
www.campdogwood.com Illonois
www.campw.com Nev | | | |
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mew13
Champion
Posts:1
| | 08/16/2005 11:08 AM |
| quote:
Originally posted by GREATPYR
RACECAR spelled backwards is RACECAR,any RACING fans out there?
Hi GreatPYR, have been thinking about getting a great pyrenees...any advice??
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n/a
Best of Breed
Posts:436
| | 08/17/2005 12:57 AM |
| | The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it
ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate.
So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads,
. . . and you wonder why the ocean is so salty?
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n/a
Best of Breed
Posts:436
| | 08/17/2005 2:38 AM |
| | In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER......
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE S! TEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
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yukisdad
Champion
Posts:159
| | 08/17/2005 3:47 PM |
| | I wandered into a gift shop several years ago. After entering, I looked around and spotted a cowhide wallet. I picked it up to examine it further. Within, was a tag that read "Made in India"
Spotted on bumper sticker one afternoon: "if it ain't broke, fix it til it is!!"
A personal pet peeve: If you need to be on your cell phone on the golf course, YOU NEED TO BE AT WORK!!!!! | | | |
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n/a
Best of Breed
Posts:436
| | 08/18/2005 5:55 PM |
| Antique shop
Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked "What's new?" | | | |
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drambuie
Best in Group
Posts:1224
| | 08/19/2005 8:27 PM |
| | for all you stict veggie eaters
Both Hitler and Mussolini were vegetarians.
For the exotic pet people.
John Quincy Adams had a pet alligator. | | | |
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beaglesmom
Champion
Posts:124
| | 08/21/2005 10:56 PM |
| | Dog Hair :
In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of dogs. This substance, called "amo-bacter canis" has been linked with the following symptoms in female humans:
Reluctance to cook
Reluctance to preform housework
Reluctance to wear anything but jeans or sweats
Reluctance to work except in support of a dog
Physical craving for contact with dogs (may be an addiction)
BEWARE: If you come in contact with a female human affected by this substance, be prepared to talk about dogs for hours on end.
This has been a Public Service Announcement............ | | | |
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drambuie
Best in Group
Posts:1224
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drambuie
Best in Group
Posts:1224
| | 10/02/2005 9:51 PM |
| | What do , bullet proof vests, fire extingishers , wind shield wipers and laser printers have in common?
They were all invented by a woman. | | | |
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drambuie
Best in Group
Posts:1224
| | 10/09/2005 6:59 PM |
| | Many Years ago in Scotland a new game was developed.
It was for Gentleman Only, Ladies Forbidden.
Whats the name of the game?
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yukisdad
Champion
Posts:159
| | 10/09/2005 7:44 PM |
| | GOLF, dram | | | |
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