Yesterday, our beloved toy poodle, Benji, passed away at the age of 17. He had had his ups and downs and was born with a deformed hind leg. People would comment on the dog walking on three legs and how good he looked to be as old as he was.  This past Jan. he started with the first of many ear infections. That brought on him walking around in circles until the medication got that under control.  Then in May we had more problems with him not wanting to eat, would fall down if you tried to hold him up. The vet diagnosed another ear infection so back on the meds we went. Just when we thought he wouldn't lost, low and behold he started eating. After that he perked up and back we were on another merry-go-round of emotions. He was able to go on our last vacation to the beach last month so we were still thinking all was going okay until last week when we noticed still more signs. He wouldn't eat again and his one hind leg completely gave out with him. We would start a routine of taking him out and holding up his little body for him to go to the bathroom. None of us complained as we enjoyed the time still with him.  I averaged about one to two times every night for the past year taking him outside to go to the bathroom.  Never had I had a full night's rest without interruptions. This past Saturday we made a decision to take him for a checkup and found his temp was very low. The vet gave him 100cc's of fluid to build him up and told us to try to get some food into him. Nothing worked, he wouldn't eat, would be restless to the point we were taking shifts holding him at night.  Monday he started what appeared to be a small seizure were he would shake and clatter his teeth. Finally Monday night I was able to get some deluted baby food down his throat with a syringe. I just knew now he would be okay. That was not to be. Monday night was extremely stressful and by Tues. morning he was shaking uncontrolably. We made the hard decision of having him put to sleep. Our time was set for 1:15 but Benji knew he wanted to die at home with us.  Each of the family was able to hold him and say their good-byes and to let him know how much he was loved. Then, as I was finishing up his little "coffin" my husband called out that he had stopped breathing. I ran in to hold him only to find he had a few more gasps of air left in him. What a little fighter- plus he wanted mom to hold him in his arms one last time. I can't tell you how difficult this has been for my entire family. My Benji was with us for the duration of my marriage and the birth of my two boys. The oldest being 15. He's gone on every vacation with us and has been in almost every Christmas photo that we sent out. I'm at the point that I don't want to ever have another dog and get so attached that it makes me physically sick when they pass. I haven't lost an immediate family member so really can't relate it to that. However, the nights where he slept on the bed with me, are difficult, picking up his bed and all the rugs which lined the kitchen so he could walk, his little cup where we would give him his water......it's all difficult to handle right now. Everyone says it will get better- but do I want it to?  Thanks for allowing me to express myself with others who have grieved for a loved pet whether it be a dog, cat, rabbit or other animal.      

Sorry to hear about your sweet Benji. Most all of us here on the site, have lost a pet at one time or another, so we certainly do understand your pain.  Our pets become part of our everyday lives. They give us unconditional love, and ask for very little.Your family must have been exceptional with Benji, for him to live 17 years....be proud of having a dog that lived such a long time, it's rare. Those 17 years of memories will remain in your heart for ever, and in time, when your reflect on those memories, they will bring a smile to you. Time does heal the pain you feel right now.....

Kim,

So So sorry for the loss of your beloved Benji... the only solace you can take away from this is that Benji had a wonderful loving family and basked in their love for as long as the little guy could. Does the pain go away? No, not really, but it becomes more manageable...I think the reason our babies can recognize us at the Bridge is because they hold a piece of our heart when they pass over... thoughts & prayers to you & yours.

Katie & "the Boys"

OMG! I can't stop crying for you. Yes he is in a better place, all the pain is gone for him. I'm going through that right now. It's my daughter's Yorkie,he contracted Lyme disease. It went undetected in blood tests(have no idea how that happened) He is now going through Kidney failure. He started losing weight, and then stopped eating all together for a few days. I urged my daughter to take Teddy to my Vet, as I really did not have full faith in hers. She took him on Tuesday. Low and behold, he is very sick. He was put on meds. right away. Today we are taking him to the University of Pennsylvania, to get some more insite on Teddy.

I too have never had a close family member die, so this is over devastating to me. My heart is hurting to the point of awful pain. Their little lives are so precious, this is just awful. I remember when my daughter asked me to go with her to pick Teddy up from the breeder. We drove to Pennsylvania, and when we drove up we could see the breeders little girl  running through the grass with him. He was so small he was hopping like a rabbit to get through the grass. What a beautiful site, there is my geandpuppy. Now I'm losing him, I can't stop crying for him. That little ball of energy and love is moving slow, just sits and stares with what used to be an annoying Teddy, running around, barking and wanting all of our attention. We couldn't sit down without him pushing up all over us. The thought of losing him is incomprehensible to me.

My thoughts are with you. Thanks for listening to me.