Boz was in so much abdominal pain that it was time to transition.  My vet is a wonderful woman who is so caring she glows....she came in on her day off after hearing that 2 tramadol was not even doing it's job.  Was doing great until tues. late.  Then got better, then went to big pain around 3 this am.  When I helped him up to sleep with me, he yelped, but onced settled was loving the hand always stroking...for the last 6  weeks...nonstop.  But we stayed at the vet's office for 2hours.  She gave us time when we got there, then time to let the pain killer/sed.work,and let me hold off his arm and let the syrum in when I was ready. then gave us time to adjust and helped to wrap him in blankets to ready him for his journey to Pine's to be cremated on Saturday.  He'll become a crystal, just as Maddie.  We had great talks, he mostly did a reverse grunt...his talk!  He was a wonderful, beautiful black dog with a heart that his body just could not contain.  So we have a deal that after he's had fun with others that are at RainbowBridge, he'll find a new body that is bigger so that his wonderful heart will have enough room.  He was a blessed soul that passed that on to all that came into contact with him.  A wonderful dog for my son,who is now 4, from the second that he came home from the hospital, Boz decided that that was his boy too. 

I miss him so much that I can't breathe, the pain in my heart physically hurts, and my eyes burn.  I know that time will heal this ache, but it is so wretched right now.  I hate CANCER.  I also no the anger will pass with each scream  in the car(the only place that I can be alone and not worry anyone!).  All of the other creatures have come up and given a snuggle and then jumped down, then another....they all know and communicate.  My Ellie will really miss him, he was her big brother her whole life. Her other big k-9brother really doesn't play with her, but maybe now they will.  They are in mourning too.  I believe that animals do that too.  They also have looked toward, seemingly nothing,but I know that it's Boz checking in.  

Thanks for this site to help with loss, they all are members of the family, just as important as everyone else.

Namaste..........Kym&Bozley

How very sad and I'm so sorry for your loss.  Your second paragraph could have been written for my own loss.   I have all those pains too (and I scream in the car). I have two cats and one of them was Luaka's best friend -  Blaize -his behaviour has changed a lot - he has become so much more loving toward me, gentle, noisey and purring.  He seems to know my pain and is trying to help.  (Blaize was born in our house so Luaka was "mom" to him too).  Perhaps he is letting me know that Luaka is visiting.  I will be more attentive next time.  It's been three weeks for me now and although I cry less, the pain is still there and I just cannot stop thinking of her.  I  have big bags under my eyes cos I can't sleep properly (and the crying).  Everyone says it gets better, but I just wish it was quicker.

Katkins

I am so sorry for your loss!  I lost my baby over 2 years ago from osteosarcoma (bone cancer).   Jazzmine and I made it almost one full year after I had to amputate her rear leg and go through chemo.  I feel for you.  I believe I cried for a good solid week after I had to put her down.  It helped when I did a grieving ceremony (as corny as it might sound) and added her name to the rainbow bridge.  It took me almost 1 full year to even consider getting another dog as I didn't feel I could take that pain again.  I still cry once in a while, often when reading stories like this.

The only thing that keeps me going now is my new family members.  They have characteristics of my beautiful baby that remind me of her everyday.  I also put together a shadow box to remind me of all the cute things she did.  It won't take away your pain, but it does interrupt it occassionally with a memory and smile. 

My heart just breaks for you.  And my tears are again running like when Heidi died of cancer.  My thoughts are with you.

Paula