(she's in my profile pic)

We got her the yr after i was born & had her for about 15/16 yrs. after having her for about 10+ yrs we thought we might lose her (im not exactly sure why as my parents never really said much to me about it or when we lost her) which in a way i guess im glad as i dont know how i would've coped. so we got another dog - a glden retriever through someone else called toby @ 1st they fought only play fighting but they got on well. things were ok with candy so we had her for quite a few more yrs. but towards the end she was ill & kept being sick & going in the house so my parents took her to the vet, just before she went i made a real fuss over her- hugging her, telling her how much i loved her & would miss her (thinking she wouldnt come back) but she did & i was happy the vet said she'd have medication for the rest of her life which my parents were happy to do. but a wk later she was still bad so they took her back, thinking she'd come home again i didnt make as much of a fuss. my parents came back i opened the front door to see them getting out of the car  1 of them with the lead in their hand. not making a connection i asked where she was & was told they had to have her put down if felt as if id lost a part of me, my heart was broken. it wouldnt have been so bad if id been with them though not sure if i could've gone in to see the vet. but @ least i would'nt have been left with big regret of not saying goodbye to her properly. it was over 16 yrs ago & it still haunts me & is something i live with every day which gets me extremely upset thinking she might have thought i didnt care etc. i just wish there was someway i could get peace & know she did know how much i loved her etc & i think of her every day.

not long after my parent gave the other dog to someone else, we dont have 1 @ the moment, although i wish we did as it'd probably help me in someway.