… Before You Got Your First Horse
Thanks to rescuebook for contributing her hilarious lists with us!
10. You will have a panic attack when you drive up to the stable and the vet’s van is parked right beside the barn door.
9. Your horse will have a more extensive wardrobe than you’ve ever had, including outfits for spring, summer, winter, fall, trail riding, and showing…while you’re still wearing the same crusty old barn jacket and ripped jeans.
8. If your horse accidentally stands on your foot, he will immediately go deaf.
7. Your horse will turn into the class clown every time the judge looks at his way.
6. Something on your horse will swell up the night before the big trail ride.
5. The lighter her color, the more often she’ll roll in the mud.
4. Your horse will be capable of reducing a perfectly clean, sweet-smelling stall to a cesspool in six hours.
3. She’ll spook at every car that passes when under saddle, but will chase them down the pasture fence when turned out.
2. Your horse’s primary function in life will be to make a liar of you. For example, if you tell someone she won’t get into a trailer, she’ll hop into the vehicle like a teenager with a new driver’s license.
And the most important thing no one told you before you got your first horse:
1. Your horse’s intestines are directly connected to his hooves, causing him to break wind every time you pick up his hind foot.